Episode 9 — The Almost
By the second week after the fight, their conversations felt like walking through glass.
Lagos was in one of her chaotic moods. Rain in the morning. Heat by noon. Traffic that swallowed entire afternoons whole.
Valerie sat in the back of an Uber on Third Mainland Bridge, laptop on her thighs, trying to finalize a design deck for a potential fashion collaboration. The driver had gospel music playing faintly through the speakers.
Her phone buzzed.
Purity: Are you free tonight?
She stared at the message. She had been free the night before too. But she had claimed she was tired.
Valerie: Maybe. Why?
The reply came almost immediately.
Purity: I need to talk properly.
Her stomach dropped. That phrase again. She typed.
Valerie: About what?
There was a longer pause this time.
Purity: About us.
The bridge suddenly felt too narrow.
Valerie: Okay.
—
That evening, she locked her bedroom door before answering the call. Tammy was in the living room laughing loudly at something on TV, but Valerie needed quiet. The screen lit up. He looked thinner. Or maybe she was imagining it.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
There was no teasing, no soft smile. The tension was very loudddddd.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Busy.” She replied uninterested
“Tell me.”
She hesitated. Why did telling him suddenly feel like effort?
“Meeting with a potential stockist in Lekki. They liked the pieces. I might get a shelf in their store.” She said
His eyes lit up instinctively. “That’s big.”
She shrugged lightly. “We’ll see.”
“Mama, that’s not small.”
“I know.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m proud of you.”
Her chest tightened. “Thank you.”
He exhaled. “I miss you.” The words landed heavily.
“I know.”
“You don’t say it back anymore.” he accused
She froze. “I do.”
“Not like before.”
She looked away. “That’s not fair.”
“Then tell me you miss me.”
She swallowed. “I miss you.” He searched her face.
“I need honesty tonight,” he said quietly. She nodded. “Me too.” He leaned back slightly.
“I spoke to Pastor.”
Her heart skipped. “In Lagos?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Yesterday.”
“And?” He inhaled slowly. “He said he’s been watching me for years.” Her pulse quickened.
“He said he always suspected I would step into leadership eventually.”
Her throat dried. “And?”
“He told me not to rush it. But he confirmed the call.” The room seemed to tilt.
“Confirmed how?”
“He said the fruit has always been there. The heart for people. The way I teach. The way I carry responsibility.”
Her ears rang faintly. “And he wants you to start?”
“He wants me to begin leadership training when I return.” The words felt like a door closing somewhere. Valerie sat very still.
“That’s fast.”
“It’s not ordination tomorrow,” he said gently. “It’s training.”
“Training becomes position.”
“Eventually.”
Eventually. Her mind flashed forward against her will. Late nights. Counseling sessions. Church emergencies. Shared calendar filled with everyone but her. She felt herself retreating emotionally even as she stared at his face.
“Say something,” he urged softly.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
She laughed faintly. “Overwhelmed.”
“Okay.”
“And small.”
His brow furrowed. “Small?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Like my life is… smaller.”
“That’s not true.”
“You’re stepping into something eternal.” she fired
“And you’re building something creative and powerful.” he countered He countered
“That’s not the same.” she defended
“Who told you that?” She pressed her lips together.
“Mama…, Babe,” he said carefully, “are you ashamed of me becoming a pastor?” Her eyes snapped up. “No.”
“Then what is it?” She inhaled shakily. “I’m afraid I won’t matter as much.” He leaned forward immediately so she could see him well. “That will never happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.” Her voice rose. “You don’t know what it feels like to be second to a congregation.”
His jaw tightened slightly. “I’m not your father.” He was tired of her comparing him all the time to her dad.
“Stop saying that!” The words exploded out of her before she could stop them.
He went quiet.
“You think repeating it changes my history?” she continued, tears rising. “You think because you’re kind now that pressure won’t change you?”
He swallowed. “I can’t undo your past.”
“No.”
“But I can build a different future.”
She shook her head. “You don’t even know what it’s like to be married yet.”
“Neither do you.” he said already tired of where this was headed.
“At least I’ve seen it up close.” He absorbed that. “Okay,” he said slowly. “So what are you saying?”
She hesitated. Then the words came.
“Maybe we’re not aligned.” The sentence hung between them like a blade.
His breathing shifted. “Explain.”
“You’re moving toward full-time ministry.”
“Yes.”
“I’m building a fashion brand. I want to travel. I want flexibility. I don’t want to be tied to one church forever.”
“You don’t have to be tied.” he said defensively
“That’s naive.” she was fed up.
“It’s not.”
“Purity, you’re idealistic.”
“And you’re fearful.” The words landed. She blinked.
“Fearful?”
“Yes.” Her chest tightened. “I’m being realistic.”
“You’re letting trauma dictate your future.” he accused. The accusation stung.
“You don’t get to say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you didn’t live it.”
He softened slightly. “You’re right.”
Then he asked the question neither of them wanted.
“Are you thinking of ending this?”
Her heart pounded so loudly she thought he could hear it through the phone.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. The honesty hurt them both.
“I need to know,” he said quietly.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t keep building while wondering if you’re halfway out the door.” he was really exhausted. Her chest tightened painfully. “I’m not halfway out.”
“Then where are you?” he asked softly. She covered her face briefly. “I’m tired.”
“Of me?” his voice broke.
“Of fighting something I didn’t sign up for.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s fair.”
Silence. She had expected him to argue but he didn’t.
“That’s fair,” he repeated softly.
Her heart twisted. “You’re just accepting it?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then what?”
“I’m choosing not to force you.”
Tears blurred her vision. “Purity…”
“I love you,” he said gently. “But I won’t drag you into a life you resent.”
The maturity in his voice made the situation hurt more.
“I don’t resent you,” she said quickly.
“Not yet.” The word yet made her stomach drop.
“I don’t want to resent you,” she whispered.
“Then we need clarity.”
“How?”
“Prayer. Counsel.”
She laughed weakly. “Counsel already?”
“Yes.”
“We’re not even engaged.”
“Exactly.” The air between them felt thin.
“Can we take space?” she asked finally.
His chest tightened. “How much space?”
“A few days. No heavy conversations. Let's just… breathe.”
He hesitated. “Are you using space to detach?”
“No.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He closed his eyes briefly. “Okay.”
They sat there, neither wanting to end the call. “Babeee?” she called
“Yes.”
“If I can’t do this… it won’t be because I didn’t love you.”
His throat tightened. “I know.”
“And if I can…”
“Yes?”
“I need you to fight for us without making me feel guilty.”
“I can do that.”
“I love you,” he said again.
She hesitated. “I love you too??.”
But this time it sounded like a question.
After the call ended, she lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Tammy knocked gently before entering.
“You people fought again?” Valerie nodded faintly. She wasn't even sure if it was a fight. Purity was too matured a person that he barely fought with her. He always made her see his point without raising his voice.
“Are you breaking up?”
“I don’t know.”
Tammy sat beside her. “Do you want to?”
Valerie’s chest ached. “No.”
“Then why are you acting like you do?”
She turned her face toward the wall. “Because loving him feels like stepping into a storm.”
Tammy squeezed her hand. “Storms also water seeds.”
Valerie let out a weak laugh through tears. “Stop being wise.”
In Rwanda, Purity sat outside again under the night sky. He replayed her words.
Maybe we’re not aligned.
The thought felt like loss before loss had even happened.
“God,” he whispered quietly, “if she walks away… I will still obey You. But please… don’t make me choose like this.”
My varity lovers. It's like our ship is shaking oo. Do you think Valerie is doing too much? What do you think they should do?
Btwwew this extra chapter is cause you all have been amazing. Thank you for rocking with me. I love you all so much.
Thank you Lady Isabella for helping me see that relationship isn't all roses, you're dealing with a person who has history maybe a trauma sef
Valeria don't do this to our Guy 😩 biko . I won't be happy if this ship fails ooo . Infact it won't fail in Jesus name. I cover it with the Blood of Jesus. Isabella thank you so much. ❤️