My babiessss.. it's the weekend. Enjoyyyy this long read. Be ready to get mushyyyy again. 🤭🤭
Episode 14 — What Healing Reveals
Healing has a way of stripping illusions. Not all at once. But layer by layer… until you can no longer hide from the truth you’ve been avoiding.
By the fourth session, Valerie didn’t pretend anymore. She didn’t sit like she had everything together.
She didn’t lead with strength. She came… honest.
They prayed again but this time, the therapist allowed Valerie to lead the prayer. Valerie’s voice trembled from the first word.
“God… I don’t want to carry things You didn’t ask me to carry. Help me today to genuinely let go and drop it at your feet. In Jesus name, Amen.”
The therapist nodded gently.
“Today, we go to the root.”
Valerie swallowed. She already knew what that meant.
“Your father.”
Valerie’s hands rested on her lap, but her fingers tightened slowly.
“I don’t hate him,” she said quickly.
“I didn’t say you did.”
“But something in you is still… waiting.”
Valerie blinked. “Waiting?”
The therapist’s voice softened.
“For the version of him you needed.”
Valerie’s throat tightened.
“Tell me,” the therapist continued gently, “if he walked into this room right now… and asked you what he missed… what would you say?”
Valerie’s lips parted. But no words came out. Her eyes filled almost instantly.
“I…” she started.
Her voice broke. “I needed you.”
The tears came fast now.
“I needed you to see me… not just as your daughter… but as someone who needed you too.”
Her breathing became uneven. “I needed you to notice when I wasn’t okay.”
A sob escaped.
“I needed you to choose me sometimes… not just the church.”
The therapist spoke softly. “That little girl is still inside you, Valerie.”
“And she learned something very important.”
Valerie wiped her face, shaking.
“That love… is not always available.”
Valerie nodded slowly.
“And because of that,” the therapist continued, “you decided you would never depend on anyone enough to feel that kind of absence again.”
“I know. I just thought I was being strong,” Valerie whispered.
“You were surviving,” the therapist corrected gently.
“But survival is not the same as living.”
“Valerie,” the therapist said carefully, “have you forgiven your father?”
Valerie frowned slightly. “I’ve never blamed him.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“Forgiveness,” the therapist continued, “is not pretending it didn’t hurt.”
“It’s acknowledging that it did… and choosing to release the hold it has on you.”
Valerie looked down. Her voice dropped.
“I don’t know how to.”
The therapist nodded. “That’s okay. We’ll do it together.”
They bowed their heads.
“Father,” the therapist began, “today we bring Valerie’s heart before You.”
“The places where she felt unseen, not chosen, not held.”
Valerie’s lips trembled.
“Lord, we acknowledge that her father may not have known how deeply she needed him.”
“But the impact is real.”
Tears streamed down Valerie’s face again.
“And today, we choose, not because it’s easy but because it’s necessary…”
“To forgive.”
The therapist encouraged her to voice out her feelings.
Valerie whispered through tears,
“I forgive him…”
Her voice shook. “…for not being there the way I needed.”
A sob escaped her.
“And Lord,” the therapist continued, “we ask You to fill every space that absence created.”
“To teach her that she is not overlooked.”
“Not forgotten.”
“Not too much.”
“Amen…” Valerie whispered weakly.
She didn’t feel instantly healed.
But something had… loosened. Ohhh she knew deep down that healing already started from the moment she walked into that office four weeks ago.
Purity sat outside his house. His phone rested in his hand. Tammy.
He had stared at it for almost ten minutes before finally pressing call.
“Hello?” Tammy’s voice came through, slightly surprised.
“Hi… Tammy.”.
“Purity?”
“Yeah.”
“This guy, you get mind oo,” Tammy said finally.
He let out a small, tired laugh.
“I deserve that.”
She hissed. “What do you want?”
He swallowed. “…How is she?”
Tammy didn’t answer immediately. And that scared him more than anything.
“She’s… better,” she said eventually.
“What does that mean?” he asked quietly.
“It means she’s healing,” Tammy replied.
“She’s in therapy.”
That caught him off guard.
“Therapy?”
“Yes.”
He leaned forward slightly. “Wow!! How is she… really?”
Tammy exhaled slowly.
“Guy!!! She cried for weeks.”
“I am sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting her”
“But she’s not the same anymore,” Tammy continued.
“She’s softer now… but also stronger in a different way.”
Purity closed his eyes briefly. “Does she… does she talk about me?”
Tammy was quiet for a moment. “Sometimes.”
His heart tightened. “What does she say?”
“Guy!! You want make I expose my friend ?? Abeg abeg!! Shift oo. You broke my heart too when you ended things with her”
“You and Val were my Couple Crush. But las las, we go dey alright.”
He nodded slowly, even though she couldn’t see him.
“I am sorry, Tam. I really am.”
Tammy’s tone shifted slightly. “Why are you asking about her now?”
He took a deep breath. “Because I’m back. I also took time to seek God more” “I’m a better man now”
“To Lagos?” Tammy asked.
“Yes.” “I’ll love to see her”
“Why?”
This time, his answer didn’t take long.
“Because I finally understand what I did.”
Tammy didn’t soften immediately. “Understanding is not the same as being ready.”
“I know,” he said quietly.
“But I’m not running anymore.”
Tammy sighed. “I won’t tell her you called oo if not she will chop my head off. ”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Better for you. But if you hurt her again. Guy!!! Heheeee!!! I go forget say I be Choir member, I go arrange like 4 soldiers abi na even area boys make dem help me reconfigure your fine face.”
He laughed softly. Typical Tammy
“I won’t,” he said.
Then softer “…I can’t even hurt her again.”
Valerie stepped out of her office, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. The afternoon sun was warm. The city… alive as always.
She walked toward the parking lot.
Across the street, a car pulled up slowly.
He hadn’t planned it like this. He wasn’t even sure why he took that route. But the moment he saw her, everything in him stilled. It felt like the first time he saw her at the airport.
But this time, she looked… different. Something about her presence had changed. She looked Softer, Calmer and Grounded than he remembered.
He gripped the steering wheel slightly. Heart pounding.
“Just walk over.” he told himself
But he didn’t move. Because something in him understood that this moment… wasn’t his to control. He needed a complete go ahead from God.
Valerie paused briefly by her car. Like she felt something. She felt someone watching her so she turned slightly.
Their eyes almost met. But a passing bus blocked the view.
By the time it moved, she was already getting into her car. He was still sitting there, in his car.
He exhaled slowly. “Not yet.”
And for the first time he didn't rush to fix anything. Didn’t try to force a reconnection.
Because now he understood that If he was going to meet her again… It had to be based on God’s directive.
That night, Valerie sat with her journal again.
“I am learning to forgive.” “I am learning to feel.” “I am learning that love is not something to control… but something to grow into.”
It was a Thursday evening.
Lagos was doing what Lagos always did at that hour—stretching itself between exhaustion and survival. Traffic crawled lazily outside, horns layering over each other in impatient symphony. The air carried that familiar mix of heat, fuel, and roasted street food drifting from nearby vendors.
Valerie was tired.
She had just finished a long day—back-to-back fittings, a client who changed her mind three times, a delayed supplier call, and a mentorship session that drained her more emotionally than she expected.
She stepped into the café like someone seeking refuge.
It had become her quiet place over the past few weeks. Soft jazz played in the background. Dim amber lights cast gentle shadows across wooden tables. It smelled like coffee and vanilla.
She ordered a drink and chose her usual spot by the window. Her bag slid off her shoulder as she sat. She exhaled slowly, like she had been holding her breath all day.
Her phone rested in her palm, but she wasn’t really scrolling. Just… moving her finger and trying to distract herself.
She was always running from being in silent environments. Because silence brought memories.
His voice. His laughter.
The way he said her name like it meant something.
She swallowed and looked away from her phone.
“Focus, Valerie,” she muttered under her breath.
Then it happened. She felt a subtle shift. Like the air had changed. Like her spirit recognized something before her eyes confirmed it.
Her fingers stilled. Slowly… she looked up. And her world stopped.
He was standing there.
Purity.
Closer than he had any right to be.
Her chest tightened instantly. Her heart didn’t just beat—it slammed, hard and erratic, like it was trying to escape her ribs.
No. No, no, no.
Her mind rejected it.
You are imagining things.
But he didn’t disappear.
He stood there, solid. Breathing. Watching her.
He looked… different.
There was a fullness to him now. His frame broader, more defined. His presence heavier. He wore a simple outfit—blue jeans, a clean LV t-shirt. He looked so good.
His beard was fuller. Hair neatly trimmed.
There was also something in his eyes. Something that had seen things… and come back changed.
Her fingers tightened around her phone.
Don’t react. Don’t.
Her heart was screaming. Her body was reacting. But her face was so controlled you wouldn’t know what was running through her mind.
He took a slow step toward her.
“Hi, Valerie.”
Her throat tightened. She blinked once. Twice.
Then she looked away. Like he wasn’t worth her attention. Like he hadn’t shattered her world.
“Excuse me,” she said quietly, standing up.
Her chair scraped lightly against the floor. She didn’t even look at him again. She picked up her bag and walked out.
Because if she stayed one more second, She would break.
“Valerie.”
His voice followed her. She ignored it.
Her steps quickened as she pushed past the café door, the evening air hitting her face sharply.
Her car was parked just ahead.
Just get inside. Drive. Leave. Don’t look back. Don’t open that door again.
But she didn’t make it.
“Valerie, wait—please.”
His hand didn’t grab her. He didn’t touch her. But his presence reached her before he did.
She stopped.
Not because she wanted to but because her body betrayed her.
She turned slowly and her eyes met his.
Everything she had been holding in for weeks rose violently to the surface.
“You don’t get to do that,” she said, her voice shaking despite her effort to steady it.
“Do what?” he asked, breath uneven from catching up.
“Show up,” she snapped. “Like nothing happened.”
He shook his head immediately. “I’m not—”
“Don’t,” she cut him off, raising her hand slightly. “Don’t say a word .”
Her chest was rising too fast. Her breathing uneven.
She was trying so hard. Trying not to cry, trying not to remember, trying not to fall back into him.
“You don’t get to appear in my life like this,” she continued, her voice trembling now. “After disappearing.”
His jaw tightened.
“I didn’t disappear,” he said quietly.
Her laugh was sharp. Painful.
“You blocked me.”
“You didn’t just leave, Purity,” she said, her voice breaking now despite her resistance. “You erased me.”
His eyes flickered with pain.
“I know.”
“No, you don’t,” she shot back immediately.
“You don’t know what that did to me.”
She shook her head, tears already gathering but not yet falling.
“You don’t know how it felt to wake up and realize I had no access to you.”
Her voice cracked.
“Like I imagined you.”
He swallowed hard.
“Like I didn’t matter enough to even… talk through it properly.”
“I thought I was protecting you—”
“From what?” she snapped.
“From loving you?” her voice rose now. “From choosing you?”
He stepped closer, carefully.
“I thought I was protecting you from pain.”
Her eyes widened. “By causing it?”
Her chest tightened suddenly. Her breathing hitched.
“Valerie…”
She shook her head quickly.
“No, no, no…”
Her hand went to her chest and her breathing became shallow. Too fast.
“I can’t—”
Her vision blurred slightly. The panic rose like a wave. It was overwhelming.
“I can’t breathe…”
He stepped closer—but still didn’t touch her.
“Hey… hey… look at me.”
Her eyes were unfocused. Tears spilled freely now.
“Mama…., breathe.”
“I’m trying,” she whispered, but her chest was tightening more.
“Okay, okay… mama…. listen to me,” he said gently but firmly.
“Look at me.”
She forced her eyes to his.
“Breathe in… slow.”
He demonstrated.
“In…”
She tried.
“In…”
Her chest trembled.
“Out…”
They did it again. And again.
His voice was steady and grounding. It pulled her back.
“I’m here, baby” he said softly.
“I’m not going anywhere right now.”
Her breathing slowly began to regulate. Tears streamed down her face. Her shoulders shook. And then she broke down.
A raw and unfiltered sob tore out of her chest.
“You broke me,” she cried.
The words hit him like a physical blow.
“I didn’t know who I was after you left,” she continued, voice breaking over itself.
“I questioned everything.”
Her hands trembled.
“Was I too much?”
“Was I not enough?”
His eyes filled.
“Was I hard to love?” she whispered, voice barely there.
He shook his head immediately.
“No—no, mama, no…”
“But that’s what it felt like!” she cried.
“Do you know what it’s like to beg someone to stay… and they still leave?”
His chest tightened painfully.
“I had to start therapy,” she continued, voice shaking.
“I had to sit down and ask myself why your leaving made me feel like I was nothing.”
His throat closed.
“I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t,” she said sharply.
“Don’t say sorry like it fixes it.”
“I’m not trying to fix it,” he said, voice breaking now. “I’m trying to own it.”
She laughed weakly through tears.
“Own it?”
“Yes,” he said. “Because I messed up.”
“I was afraid,” he continued.
She looked at him. Really looked this time.
“Afraid of what?” she asked, quieter now.
“Of loving you like that,” he admitted.
“Of how much power you had to hurt me.”
That caught her off guard.
“I saw how deeply I loved you,” he continued.
“And it scared me.”
His voice cracked.
“I’ve never… needed someone like that before.”
Her heart clenched.
“And instead of staying and growing through it,” he said, eyes filled now, “I ran.”
“I thought if I left first… I wouldn’t get hurt later.”
Her breath hitched.
“But all I did was hurt you,” he finished.
Tears slipped down her face again.
“I loved you,” she whispered.
His chest shattered.
“But love didn’t feel safe with you,” she added.
That one landed deeper than anything.
He nodded slowly.
“I understand.”
“No,” she said softly.
“You’re just starting to.”
“I’m not asking you to forgive me today,” he said.
“I’m not asking you to take me back.”
She watched him carefully.
“I just… needed you to know I came back because I love you.”
Her heart reacted. Despite everything.
“I didn’t come back because it’s convenient,” he continued.
“I came back because I realized I’d rather fight for us… than protect myself from us.”
Tears welled in her eyes again.
She looked away. Because it was too much.
“I can’t promise you anything,” she said after a while.
Her voice was softer now.
“I’m still healing.”
“I know.”
“I’m not the same person you left.”
“I’m not either.”
She nodded slowly.
“I don’t trust easily anymore,” she admitted.
“I don’t even trust myself fully yet.”
He swallowed.
“That’s okay.”
She looked at him again for long.
“I can’t give you what we had before.”
“I’m not asking for that.” He whispered.
“I can’t jump back into anything.”
“I don’t want you to.”
Then she sighed. “I can try,” she said finally.
His heart stilled.
“Try?” he asked softly.
She nodded.
“To talk.”
“To see if we can be friends.”
“But slowly.”
Relief hit him so hard it almost brought him to his knees.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
She shook her head slightly.
“Don’t thank me yet.”
A small, sad smile touched her lips.
“I might still change my mind.”
He nodded.
“I’ll earn it.”
Then she stepped back slightly. Creating space again.
“I need to go.”
His chest tightened. “Okay.”
She turned and walked toward her car. Then paused and without turning back, she said:
“You hurt me, Purity.”
His voice came out quiet. “I know.”
She swallowed. “I’m not over that.”
“I understand.”
Then she got into her car and she drove off.
Tammy knew something was off before Valerie even said a word.
They were on a call that evening.
“Okay,” Tammy said slowly, dragging the word. “What happened?”
Valerie frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t do that,” Tammy cut in immediately. “I know you.”
Valerie sighed. “Tammy”
“Did you see him?”
Tammy gasped.
“YOU SAW HIM?!”
Valerie winced, pulling the phone slightly away from her ear.
“Can you lower your voice? You wan deaf me?!”
“No!!! I cannot lower my voice!” Tammy snapped. “Since when?! How?! Where?! Why are you calm?!”
Valerie rubbed her forehead.
“It wasn’t planned.”
“Ehen!! Ehen!! That’s worse!”
Tammy stood up from wherever she was pacing. “He just appeared? Like a spirit?!”
Valerie couldn’t help it, she laughed.
“Relax, Tammy.”
“Don’t tell me to relax!” she fired back. “What did he say? What did you say? Did he cry? Because if he didn’t cry, I will burst his eyes.”
Valerie smiled faintly. “Tiger!! Calm down”
“He apologized.”
Tammy paused. “…Properly abi how?”
“Yes.”
“For everything?”
“Yes.”
Tammy exhaled slowly.
“Hmm.”
“Ehennn, madam continue abeg” Tammy pressed.
Valerie hesitated slightly.
“We talked.”
“Talked how na?” Tammy asked sharply.
“Like… adults.”
Tammy narrowed her eyes even though Valerie couldn’t see her.
“ “You dey give me half gist. Haba, madam.”
Valerie leaned back against her chair.
“He’s changed, Tammy.”
“Or… he knows what to say.” Tammy replied
Valerie’s expression softened slightly.
“I thought about that too.”
“And?” Tammy asked.
“I didn’t feel manipulated.”
That answer made Tammy pause again.
Because Valerie didn’t say things like that lightly.
“So what now?” Tammy asked carefully.
“We’re… talking.”
Tammy blinked.
“Talking as in ‘talking’… or talking as in talking?”
Valerie smiled..
“Tammy please. Which one be dat again?!.”
“I need clarity joor!! You know I’m a lover girl. I don’t want to invest my feelings in this you people’s love and then una jam me another heartbreak!” Tammy insisted.
Valerie exhaled. “We’re not back together.”
“Okayyy!?!.”
“But we’re not strangers either.”
Tammy groaned. “This is exactly the grey area I don’t like!”
Valerie laughed softly.
“I know.”
Tammy’s tone softened a little.
“But… Are you okay?”
Valerie thought about it. Really thought about it.
“I’m… just there,” she said finally.
Tammy frowned slightly.
“That’s not an emotion.”
Valerie smiled. “I know. But it’s where I am.”
Tammy sighed.
“Just… don’t lose yourself again.”
Valerie’s voice became steady.
“I won’t.”
And this time? She meant it
Three days had passed since Purity last saw Valerie. Three long, stretching days.
He had done what he never thought he would have the strength to do—he stayed away.
No follow-up calls. No “just checking in” messages. No subtle attempts to stay present in her space.
He had even avoided her in church on Sunday. Not because he didn’t want to see her. But because he did.
And he knew if he saw her too soon, before she had processed everything, he might ruin the fragile ground they had just stepped onto.
So he sat at the media stand that Sunday. Watching from a distance he hated.
She had come in earlier than usual. He noticed that. She didn’t sit in her usual spot either.
And when service ended, she left quickly. That hurt more than he expected.
By Monday morning, his restraint began to crack. He stared at his phone longer than he should have.
Then finally, he typed.
Purity:
Can I see you?
He stared at the message.
Deleted it. Typed again.
Purity:
Hi… I know you might not be ready yet, but I’d really like to see you when you are.
He deleted it again and exhaled sharply.
“Say it in a simple way,” he muttered.
Finally, he sent:
Purity:
Can I see you?
Valerie saw it almost immediately.
Her phone buzzed beside her as she adjusted fabric on a mannequin in her studio.
She glanced at the screen.
His name. She never deleted his number even when he blocked her.
Her stomach tightened instantly. She didn’t open it. She turned back to her work. Tried to focus. But her mind had already left the room.
After a few seconds, she picked up the phone again.
Opened the message. Read it once. Then again.
Her heart didn’t leap like before. It just fluttered lightly.
She locked her phone and dropped it on the table.
“No,” she whispered to herself.
Not yet.
The next message came that evening.
Purity:
I understand if you’re not ready. I just… I’d like to talk when you can.
She read it and her chest tightened slightly. Still she did not reply.
By the second day, his messages became more consistent.
Purity:
I hope your day was okay today.
Purity:
I saw something that reminded me of you… almost took a picture before I remembered I shouldn’t rush you.
Purity:
I’m here when you’re ready.
Valerie sat on her bed that night, scrolling through the messages. Reading them slowly. Her thumb hovered over the keyboard. Then she dropped the phone beside her.
She was frustrated and conflicted because a part of her wanted to reply.
A part of her missed him. Missed his consistency. Missed the way he showed up.
But another part, the louder part, remembered the silence he gave her. The absence. The fact that he blocked her.
She lay back and stared at the ceiling.
“God abeg” she whispered.
“Help my heart.”
The next day, she sat across from her therapist.
“You’ve been distracted today,” the therapist observed gently.
Valerie gave a small, knowing smile.
“He came back.”
The therapist nodded slowly. “I see.”
“And he wants to see me.”
“What did you say?.”
Valerie shook her head. “I don’t know what to do.”
The therapist leaned forward slightly.
“What are you afraid of?”
Valerie didn’t answer immediately.
“I’m afraid I’ll forget the pain too quickly.”
“That I’ll… fall back into him,” she admitted.
Her voice softer now.
“And then what if he leaves again?”
The therapist nodded. “That’s valid.”
Valerie swallowed.
“But avoiding him won’t answer that question,” the therapist added gently.
Valerie looked up.
“You don’t have to decide everything right now,” she continued.
“You don’t have to take him back.”
“You don’t even have to trust him yet.”
“But seeing him… might help you understand what you feel.”
Valerie exhaled slowly. “You think I should see him?”
“I think,” the therapist said carefully, “you should choose from a place of strength, not fear.”
That evening, she called her mentor.
“Ma, I don’t want to be stupid,” Valerie said immediately after explaining everything.
Her mentor laughed softly.
“You’re not stupid, Val. You’re actually healing.”
Valerie sighed. “What if I make the wrong decision?”
“Then God will still guide you back.”
“Have you prayed about it?” her mentor asked.
Valerie paused. “…not really.”
“Then Pray, my dear.”
That night, Valerie knelt beside her bed.
Something she hadn’t done in a while—not like this. Not vulnerably.
“God…” she whispered.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Her voice shook slightly. “I still love him.”
She swallowed. “But I’m scared.”
Tears slipped down quietly.
“I don’t want to go back to something that will break me again.”
“If this is You… help me know.”
She didn’t reply to his messages. Not that night. Not the next morning.
She waited.
Then on Wednesday during midweek service, she saw him again. When service ended, he walked straight to her.
“Valerie,” he said quietly.
She looked at him.
“Yes?”
His eyes searched hers.
“Please… can you reply to my messages?” he pleaded.
Her brows lifted slightly.
“My heart can’t take this silence,” he admitted.
“I don’t know where I stand with you.”
That honesty disarmed her.
“Okay, I'll try” she said finally.
Relief washed over his face instantly.
“But—” she added.
He stilled.
“We need to speak to Pastor Ade first.”
He blinked then nodded.
“Okay. Sure”
They sat side by side in P. Ade’s office the next day. Pastor Ade listened quietly as they explained.
When they finished, he leaned back slightly.
“Both of you still love each other,” he said simply.
They didn’t respond. Because it was obvious.
“But love alone is not enough,” he continued.
“You need direction.”
He looked at them carefully. “Seek God individually.”
“Not together.”
“Not emotionally.”
“But individually.”
Valerie nodded slowly. Purity swallowed.
“And when you have peace,” Pastor Ade added, “then take your next step.”
Then he prayed for them.
On Friday morning, Valerie received a package.
A dress from her favourite brand- asides hers. It was exactly her style.
With it came a note.
Hey, mama… Dinner?? I just want us to have a conversation.
— P
She stared at it then smiled faintly and texted him her reply.
At 7pm that evening, Purity came to pick her up. The moment she stepped out of the door, he paused. She was breathtaking.
And for a second, he forgot every boundary he had set for himself.
“Hi…” he said softly.
She smiled.
“Hi.”
She gave him a small hug. His arms tightened slightly before he caught himself.
Her fingers pressed lightly against his back but neither of them spoke. Because both of them felt that pull. It felt too familiar.
When they pulled apart, he exhaled.
“Let’s go before I misbehave,” he muttered under his breath as he opened the car door for her.
She laughed softly. “Man of God.”
He chose a quiet outdoor restaurant near her studio. Dim string lights swayed gently in the evening breeze, soft music hummed from inside, and the air carried the kind of calm that stretched the moment, making it feel like time itself had slowed.
He pulled out a chair for her, then picked one across from her and sat. For a moment, neither spoke. Finally, he exhaled.
“I’ve thought about this conversation… a lot,” he began, voice low but steady.
She nodded faintly, eyes meeting his. “I can imagine.”
“I know this is the second time we’re talking like this,” he continued carefully, “and the second time I’ve had to apologize to you. But I need you to hear it again, from my heart.”
Her eyes flickered slightly, a mix of anticipation and wariness.
“I’m sorry,” he said simply, but the weight in his voice made her pulse quicken.
“For leaving. For how I left. For not giving you the chance to understand what was going on with me the first time.”
Valerie’s chest tightened. She didn’t respond immediately, studying him instead.
“I know we’ve talked about this before,” he continued, “but I still want you to know how deeply sorry I am. I’m not fully there yet… I’m still a work in progress, but I want to be someone you can trust again.”
Her eyes softened. That sincerity, that accountability, so raw and unfiltered, resonated with her.
“I… me too,” she whispered, the words barely leaving her lips, but heavy with meaning.
“Mama…” her heart melted.
Ohh… how she missed him calling her mama. She was not ready yet but this cracked her walls a little.
“I never stopped loving you,” he admitted.
He leaned just a little closer, their knees almost brushing under the table. She struggled to breathe.
“ I’m still learning the depth of what I did. But I want to see where this… could go.”
The pause between them stretched. Words weren’t needed anymore. The air itself seemed to hum with the unsaid, the remembered, the long-held ache.
Purity reached out slowly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered for a heartbeat, warming her skin.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
Valerie’s breath hitched. Something unspoken passed between them, a tension, a longing, a history of absence and care that had built silently over months.
Before she could respond, he leaned in gently, pressing his lips to her forehead .
The kiss was a confession, a longing, an apology all at once. He held the side of her face softly, thumb brushing her cheek. She instinctively curled her toes under the table, a shiver of surprise and delight running through her.
Valerie didn’t know how to respond, she had wanted this for a long time but had learned caution and patience.
Time seemed to slow.
He tilted her chin slightly, and placed another kiss on her cheek, just a little, and her fingers curled around his arm for stability. The world outside the table, the restaurant, the lights, all faded into the background.
But then, with a soft, deliberate inhale, he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers.
“I am sorry if it seems like I’m rushing you,” he whispered, voice husky, eyes searching hers. “I don’t wanna rush this, not without knowing we’re both ready to handle this. I can’t risk ruining what we’re building.”
“But!!! Father in heaven!! Mama….You are so beautiful” he confessed
Valerie’s hand lingered on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. She rested her head on his shoulder, eyes half-closed, a faint smile playing on her lips.
They stayed like that for a moment longer, breathing in sync, hearts echoing the same rhythm.
They had already ordered their food, but neither of them seemed particularly interested in it anymore.
The air between them had shifted.
Like both of them understood that this part mattered more than anything else that had happened that evening.
Valerie rested her elbow lightly on the table, her fingers brushing the rim of her glass.
Purity watched her for a moment before speaking.
“You said something the other day,” he began carefully. “About therapy.”
She nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
Valerie exhaled quietly, her eyes dropping briefly to the table before returning to his.
“I didn’t go because of you,” she said first.
He nodded gently.
“I went because I realized… something was off.”
She swallowed. “I didn’t like how your absence affected me.”
That made his chest tighten, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I didn’t like that I couldn’t function properly,” she continued. “That I felt… lost. Like I didn’t know myself outside of you.”
Her voice was soooo calm but that calm carried weight.
“I’ve always prided myself on being… strong,” she said. “Independent. Guarded. I don’t let people in easily.”
A faint, almost ironic smile touched her lips.
“You know that.”
“I do,” he said softly.
“But with you…” she hesitated, searching for the right words. “It was like I opened a door I didn’t fully understand.”
He leaned back slightly, giving her space to keep going.
“And when you left,” she said, her voice lowering, “it didn’t just hurt. It shook me.”
His throat tightened.
She continued, slower now.
“I started asking myself questions I didn’t like.”
“What kind of questions?” he asked gently.
She held his gaze.
“Why did his leaving make me feel like I wasn’t enough?”
“Why did I feel abandoned so quickly?” she added. “Why did I panic instead of process things?”
Her fingers curled slightly against the table.
“My therapist asked me something that annoyed me at first,” she said.
“What?” he asked.
“She said, ‘Valerie, when did you first learn that love leaves?’”
Purity stilled.
Valerie’s eyes dropped.
“I didn’t even answer immediately,” she admitted. “But I knew.”
“My dad.”
“He didn’t leave physically,” she clarified. “But emotionally… he wasn’t there.”
Her voice softened.
“He was always busy. Church. People. Ministry.”
She let out a quiet breath.
“And I told myself I was fine with it.”
Her eyes lifted back to his. “I told myself I didn’t need him like that.”
Purity’s gaze softened deeply. This was the first time she was talking about her dad, thoroughly.
“But I did,” she whispered.
Silence stretched between them.
“I learned early,” she continued, “that the people you love… might not have space for you.”
Her lips pressed together briefly.
“So I adapted.”
“How?” he asked quietly.
“I became self-sufficient,” she said. “I didn’t ask for too much. I didn’t expect too much.”
She gavd faint smile.
“Hard girl.” He almost smiled, but stopped himself.
“But the problem is…” she added, “when you don’t expect much, you also don’t give much.”
“I thought I was loving you,” she said, her voice soft but steady.
“And I was… in the only way I knew how.”
She looked down briefly, then back up.
“But I wasn’t letting you fully in.”
His chest tightened. “I didn’t know how to need you.”
“I thought needing someone made me weak,” she continued. “Or… dependent.”
Her eyes searched his.
“So when you loved me… fully… openly…”
She exhaled.
“I didn’t always meet you there.”
He swallowed slowly.
“I felt that,” he admitted.
She nodded.
“I know.”
“My therapist said something else,” she added.
“What?”
“She said, ‘You can’t build intimacy while protecting yourself from vulnerability.’”
Purity leaned back slightly, letting that settle.
“That one annoyed me too,” Valerie added with a soft laugh.
He smiled faintly.
“But she was right,” she said.
“I was scared,” she admitted.
He looked at her.
“Of what?”
“Of being seen,” she said simply.
Their eyes held.
“For real,” she added.
“Not the controlled version of me. Not the composed version.”
Her voice softened.
“But the version that needs, that fears, that… feels deeply.”
“And you saw that version.”
His chest rose slowly.
“And it scared me.”
She looked at him again.
“So yeah… therapy has been…” she exhaled, searching for the word, “humbling.”
A faint smile.
“I’m learning to open up.”
“To feel without running.”
“To stay.” “So tell me about Rwanda” she quickly said.
Purity didn’t speak immediately. He just watched her. Then he exhaled slowly.
“Rwanda changed me,” he said quietly.
She leaned back slightly, giving him the same space he had given her.
“How?” she asked.
He looked down briefly, then back at her.
“I went there thinking I was strong,” he admitted.
“Spiritually mature. Emotionally stable.”
She smiled slightly. “Of course you did.”
He chuckled softly.
“Yeah… pride is subtle.”
“But the first few months…” he shook his head slightly, “they stripped me.”
Her brows lifted slightly.
“In what way?”
He leaned forward a bit, forearms resting on the table.
“I was surrounded by people who had nothing… but had peace.”
Valerie’s expression softened.
“And I realized…” he continued, “I had things… but not the same level of surrender.”
“One day,” he said, “we visited a small community. We prayed with this woman…”
His voice softened.
“She was in pain. Real pain. Physically.”
Valerie leaned in slightly, listening.
“And she kept thanking God.”
Her brows pulled together. “For what?”
He met her eyes.
“For being with her.”
“That messed with me,” he admitted.
“Because I started asking myself… would I still choose God if everything uncomfortable stayed uncomfortable?”
Valerie swallowed.
“And then,” he continued, “in the quiet moments… God started dealing with me.”
She watched him carefully now.
“About you.”
Her breath hitched slightly.
“I realized something I didn’t want to admit,” he said.
“What?”
“I was afraid of how much I loved you.”
“I’ve never… felt that level of emotional exposure before,” he continued.
“Not even close.”
He leaned back slightly, running a hand over his face.
“And instead of embracing it… I tried to control it.”
Valerie’s chest tightened.
“I told myself I was protecting you,” he added.
“But really…”
He looked at her. “I was protecting myself.”
“I didn’t want to need you that much,” he said quietly.
“Because needing someone means they can hurt you.”
Her breath slowed.
“And you were… everything I didn’t have control over.”
“I couldn’t predict you,” he continued.
“I couldn’t manage my feelings around you.” He exhaled.
“And it scared me.”
Valerie’s eyes softened.
“So I ran,” he said.
“I convinced myself it was wisdom,” he added.
“That I was being mature. That I was doing the right thing.” He shook his head slightly.
“But I didn’t even wait for God.”
“I prayed,” he said, “but I didn’t listen.”
“I acted.”
Valerie watched him closely.
“And P. Ade forced me to slow down,” he continued.
“To sit with myself.”
“To confront the parts of me I ignored.”
“I realized I wasn’t as emotionally whole as I thought.”
Her lips pressed together slightly.
“I realized I still had fears,” he added.
“Still had control issues.”
“Still had this need to… protect myself from pain instead of trusting God with it.”
He leaned forward slightly again.
“And the biggest one?”
She held his gaze.
“I didn’t know how to stay when things got uncomfortable.”
“I knew how to lead,” he said.
“I knew how to guide, to support, to be strong…”
A faint, sad smile.
“But I didn’t know how to stay vulnerable.”
Her throat tightened.
“And loving you required that,” he said.
“Fully.”
“So I had to learn,” he added quietly. “How to stay.”
Their eyes locked.
“And I’m still learning,” he said.
A comfortable silence settled between them.
Valerie exhaled slowly.
“I didn’t know you were dealing with all that,” she said softly.
“I didn’t tell you,” he replied.
“I know.”
Then she smiled faintly.
“We both had our issues.”
He smiled too.
“Yeah.”
A quiet moment passed.
“I’m glad you went to therapy,” he said gently.
She nodded.
“I’m glad you havs P. Ade,” she replied and they both laughed.
“My mum is happy I’m back,” he added.
“She said I look… settled.”
Valerie smiled softly. “That’s good.”
“Can I ask you something?”
She nodded.
“Are you… really okay being with someone in ministry?”
The question hung between them.
“I don’t know yet,” she admitted honestly.
His chest tightened slightly.
“I need time,” she added.
“I’m still working through that part of me.”
He nodded.
“I understand.” And he meant it.
When the date ended, he dropped her off at her apartment. They both didn't move. They didn't want to end it.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “For today.”
“Always,” he replied.
He leaned in and placed a gentle peck on her cheek.
Her breath caught slightly. He pulled back immediately.
“Goodnight, Valerie.”
“Goodnight… Purity.”
She walked inside and closed the door. Her heart was full. She did not feel overwhelmed at all. She was just hopeful.
And for the first time in a long time,ove didn’t feel like fear. It felt like… something worth trying again.
That night, when she got home, Valerie held her journal.
“Love is not reckless,” she wrote. “Love is intentional. It can wait. It can grow. It can heal.”
They hadn’t rushed. They hadn’t solved everything. But they had started again. And they intended to do it the right way this time.
It had been a week since their second meeting. A week of slow texts, short calls, and careful laughter. Purity was learning patience. Valerie was not ready to rush anything. She was savoring the moment.
Purity sent a text on Wednesday night. “Movie night? You pick the film.”
Valerie stared at the message for a long moment. Her heart lifted slightly but she kept her cool.
“Okay. Saturday. My place?” she replied.
“Perfect,” he answered.
Saturday evening. The sky was fading into soft oranges and purples. Valerie opened the door for him.
He smiled. That familiar, warm smile that still made her chest tighten just a little.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi,” she replied, holding the door for him.
The apartment was cozy. Lights dimmed. Blankets folded neatly on the couch. Snacks in a small tray. She had prepared everything without overthinking it, allowing herself to just… be.
They settled on the couch.
Purity hesitated, then placed his hand lightly on the back of the couch behind her, not touching her directly yet, but close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from him.
Valerie felt it too. That awareness. That subtle thrill of proximity without pressure.
The movie started. She chose an action movie because she did not want anything that would tempt them. But halfway through, the room darkened slightly. The tension between them became almost palpable.
Purity shifted slightly, just enough to brush her shoulder with his arm. Valerie’s breath hitched, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she let her shoulder rest against him, a deliberate choice.
Minutes passed. Then, without thinking too much, he slid an arm gently around her shoulders. She leaned in slightly.
At one point, during a funny scene, she reached for some popcorn. Their hands brushed. She looked up at him, and they both laughed softly, shyly, like teenagers in love.
Halfway through the movie, Purity leaned just a little closer and whispered, “I missed us… I missed you.”
Valerie didn’t respond verbally. She just leaned her head lightly on his shoulder.
Her heartbeat settled next to his. Calm. Safe.
When the movie ended, they stayed in silence for a few moments. The room was quiet except for the faint hum of the city outside. It was time to select another movie.
Purity offered to bring more snacks from the kitchen.
Tammy burst through the door at the exact moment Purity was about to stand.
“YOOOOOO! MOVIE NIGHT?!” she shouted, clapping her hands.
Valerie jumped slightly. Purity laughed, a soft, easy sound.
“Shey i told you to wait outside nau,” Valerie said, half amused, half exasperated.
“Nope!” Tammy replied, spinning in the room.
“I have news, updates, gossip, and emotional commentary! I’m the life of the party. And for you two lovebirds, I’m here to supervise, approve, and possibly intervene before we hear say one tin one tin”
Purity grinned. “I should have expected this.”
But deep down, he was glad that she came cause he didn’t know how much longer he could restrain his feelings.
“You definitely should have!” Tammy said, plopping herself on the couch between them.
“Now… tell me everything! Valerie, are you smiling like that because of him?” She scrunched her face and jabbed an elbow at Purity.
Valerie rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile. “Tammy…”
“Don’t ‘Tammy’ me!” she said dramatically, pointing at him.
“I want full disclosure. Have you been holding hands under the blanket? Whispering sweet nothings? Did he make you laugh? Did he touch your shoulder?”
Purity held up his hands in mock surrender. “Ahhh Tammy, you’re being dramatic .”
“Oh, I’m not!” Tammy said, leaning back with a smug smile.
She narrowed her eyes like a detective. Pointing two fingers to her eyes and back at them.
“I see things. I observe things. And I will judge accordingly. But I’m mostly here to make sure he doesn’t mess this up.”
Valerie laughed so hard she almost forgot her carefully built composure.
Purity chuckled, looking at her. “You have… quite a bodyguard.”
Tammy tilted her head. “I’m not a bodyguard, oga. I’m a chief investigator of love, thank you ferry mush. And I approve… cautiously.”
Valerie shook her head, smiling. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m fabulous,” Tammy said without hesitation. “And I will be here every step of the way.”
As Tammy ranted about all the possible “romantic scenarios” she imagined, Purity reached over and lightly held Valerie’s hand on the couch.
Valerie glanced at him, eyes soft.
“Tammy,” she said calmly, “we’ve got this.”
Tammy scoffed, “You think you have got this!?! Baby girl, forget that I am single oo….. I run this show!”
Purity laughed again. “I’m not arguing.”
Valerie let her fingers intertwine gently with his. The almost kiss from their last meeting lingered in their minds, but this time, they were careful.
They were physically close now, intentionally, purposefully. A shared blanket covered the three of them with Tammy in the middle. Purity’s arm rested across the sofa, touching Valerie’s shoulder lightly.
And through it all, Tammy commented, laughed, rolled her eyes, and added commentary on every awkward glance and gentle touch. Fully alive, fully chaotic, fully Tammy.
By the end of the night, as Tammy dramatically declared the “mission complete,” Valerie and Purity stood together at the door.
She leaned slightly into him, a soft smile on her lips.
He brushed his lips against her temple briefly—just a whisper of a kiss, deliberate, gentle and intimate.
“I missed our virtual dates ,” he murmured. “We never hung out physically before. I’m glad we can do that now”
“I know,” she said softly.
“Thank you for allowing me to be your friend again. I do not take it for granted. I’ll do all I can to win my place in your
life again, mama” he confessed
Her heart melted. He knew she couldn’t do anything whenever he called her “mama” and ohhhh how she missed that.
“I trust God to help us this time around.” She whispered and allowed herself to fully rest in his arms.
Hiiii babiesszx!!!!. I have no words for how this episode made me feel.
It's time to hear from you!! Did you enjoy this episode? Is Valerie being too hard?
What do you think they need now??
I love the nick name 'Mama'🤭
Girlll, can we just talk about the therapy sessions? I felt like I booked a session with Val. It was so beautiful and the prayers at the end were so grounding. I love Valerie. She reminds me about myself in a lot of ways. Purity is an interesting guy. He better tighten his shoe laces and get ready to work 😹😌
I love how quietly and intentionally they're finding their way back to each other. Cheers to honesty without feeling attacked. Cheers to love that picks up the pieces and fights for wholeness despite. Cheers to Varity 🥹🤎
Hearty cheers to you too, you're so sweet with the bonus chapters 💋💓